NaPoWriMo 2013, Day #10 – Unlove Poem called ‘I Need You’

The prompt for Day 10 was:

“Many of us have read and even written love poems. But have you written an un-love poem?

You Fit Into Me

You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

–Margaret Atwood

An un-love poem isn’t a poem of hate, exactly — that might be a bit too shrill or boring. It’s more like a poem of sarcastic dislike. This is a good time to get in a good dig at people who chew with their mouth open, or always take the last oreo. If there’s no person you feel comfortable un-loving, maybe there’s a phenomenon? Like squirrels that eat your tomatoes. (I have many, many bitter feelings about tomato-eating squirrels). There’s lots of ways to go with this one, and lots of room for humor and surprise as well. Happy writing!”

One of my favourite love poems/songs of all time is this one by John Hegley, so I thought I’d do one with the same title but going in the opposite direction.

I Need You

I need you like a camel needs a coat.
I need you like a whale needs a boat.
I need you like a singer needs a strep throat.

I need you like a robber needs a chase.
I need you like an agoraphobic needs space.

I need you like a spaceman needs a jigsaw.

I need you like a zoo needs a chicken.
I need you like an ear needs flicking.

I need you like Genghis Khan needed a girlfriend that was after some monogamous love.

I need you like an ice cream needs a bee,
I need you like Ray Winstone needs green tea,
I need you like a hippo needs a wet wipe to freshen up.

Like teenagers need acne, I need you…ooh yes I do.

Like an ice cream van needs fruit,
like a rock band needs a flute,
like humans need to know when they’re going to die,
like horror films need a black guy.

I need you like a melon needs a straw,
I need you like a felon needs a law-book for light reading.

I need you like Snow White needed those Dwarves, just to make housework.

I need you like dogs need deckchairs.
I need you like men need neck hairs.
I need you like a fillet steak needs something else on the plate before it can participate
in what you might describe as a decent meal.

I need you like a filofax needs love.
I need you like like Michael Jackson needed his other glove
if he hadn’t lost it like so many of us’ve.

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4 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo 2013, Day #10 – Unlove Poem called ‘I Need You’

  1. Pingback: Poem #10 – Real Time | Brighterdays Blog

  2. Pingback: Unloved | What If It All Means Something

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